| Coping
with specific emergencies
The emergency services are trained to cope with a wide range
of emergency situations, but if a terrorist attack happens,
they'll be so snowed under with calls they won't have a clue
what to do. So, you'll have to deal with it yourself.
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- Reduce fire hazards in your home. Children
are the worst fire hazards; consider giving them
up for adoption.
- Fit and maintain smoke alarms - at least
one on every floor. But if they go off every time
you cook bacon, like ours do, just take the
batteries out.
- Most fire deaths and injuries occur while
people are sleeping. Plan an escape route should
a fire break out at night. Here's a hint: throw
your children out of the window FIRST, then follow.
- If there is a fire, get out, stay out and
call 999. Not necessarily in that order, though.
- Never use the lift. As if you have a lift in
your house. Tell you what, though, if you have one
of those Stannah Stairlifts? You're screwed.
- If moving or trapped in smoke stay close
to the floor where the air is cleaner. While
you're there, do some hoovering by putting your mouth
to the floor and sucking.
- If a door feels hot, do not open it, as it
probably means there is a hot hot disco party
on the other side.
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| Fire prevention and safety |
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“Do not wait until
a fire occurs to think about it. Act now. There
could be a fire in your home RIGHT NOW and YOU
DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT! LOOK! LOOK AROUND! IS THERE
FIRE? HM? IS THERE? DO YOU KNOW?”
Not Duncan Preston, President of the Chief and
Assistant Chief Fire Officers’ Association
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The Fire and Rescue Service has become equipped in recent
years to decontaminate large numbers of people quickly. This
involves showering with soap and water and then dressing in
temporary clothing that would be provided. Also, it gives them
a good laugh.
In all of these situations - keep calm, think before
you act and listen to the advice of the emergency services.
If you are deaf, wait for semaphore vans to arrive.
Emergency plans exist in all areas of the UK
Honestly, they do. No, you can't see them. You just have to
trust us.
Health and hospitals
Emergency equipment, vaccines and antibiotics are stored around
the UK and are quickly available to doctors. Anyone who isn't a
doctor... you may have to wait for a bit.
Emergency planning exercises
Every year, many exercises are held involving the emergency
services and all agencies responsible for recovery. These
exercises practise our response to a range of emergencies,
including terrorism, by testing our preparedness. Plus, they
make the government look really good come election time! |
